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[10 Jan 2004|10:35pm] |
This journal is no more [and will be deleted]. I got a new one and if you don't have the url for it, there is probably a reason why.
♥</font>
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| i hope your as happy as your pretending |
[08 Jan 2004|11:10pm] |
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This will be my last update until i'm back at school -- i'm really looking forward to next semester. I missed school a lot more then i thought i would, its hard to go from having 5+ girls in your room all the time to having no one.. yea.. i miss my roommie.
I hate laptops! i always have and owning one will not make me like them any better. I did nothing and everything is then break, i feel like i have aged soooo much! from 19 to 30 all in 3 weeks. I cut my hair and got pierced [pix to come later] as well but i'm not talking about physically. For those of you who werent aware of this i was having a bit of a hard time at the beginning of this break [emotionally], i didn't know left from right or up from down.. it was just shitty -- but its all good in the hood now, actually great.
I've decided not to go back to UNI next year -- i'm going to work my ass of this summer and move [out of iowa!] before school starts next year. My mom wasn't so hip to this plan at first but i guaranteed her i'd got to community college next year [at least one sem]. I am more excited about moving then i was about going to fucking college so i know its the right choice.
For all the above reasons and more i've decided to print the last 2+ years of this lj out on paper and delete it. I just don't feel as if i'm the same as before and i definitly think that a new me should get a fresh start with a new journal. All will be revealved in due time.
bye bye xtears4telax
♥
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[06 Jan 2004|01:33pm] |
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METH.
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[01 Jan 2004|11:52am] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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HAPPY NEW YEARS
and a new year equals a new me, aint nothin better.
Me myself and i
that's all i got in the end
that's what i found out
and it aint no need to cry
i took a vow that from now on
i'm gonna be my own best friend
So to all my current best friends you have been layed off.
....♥
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| maybe she won't find out what i know |
[22 Dec 2003|02:54am] |
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It's been a while again... I honestly just haven't had the urge to update at all. Maybe because i'm home and i usually use this to keep up with everyone that i don't get to see.. but i dunno. Break so far has been good, i got a new phone! and i get to keep my same number so that's awesome. I went to Minneapolis w/ shan and becca and that was soo needed, i got to meet so many awesome kids. Yes!
I"m looking forward to the rest of break i don't exactly know why i'm hoping everything i'm worried about in my head works itself out and that things will be good with that, plus i'm getting a haircut next week and pierced and CHRISTMAS.. so it's up uphill from here.
I've decided to take a lil break from lj, i dunno if it will be just until i get back to school or what... it probably won't be tooo long. But until then you all will have to contact me via e-mail, aim or cell.
peace
....♥
( .pics from the trip. )
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[18 Dec 2003|03:03pm] |
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Happy Birthday HB!!!
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[17 Dec 2003|10:38pm] |
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home.
...♥
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[16 Dec 2003|10:31pm] |
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This will be my last update from my dorm for a bit, i'll be leaving tomorrow after my final.
Holla at ya girl
_♥
Edit: Best line!
Me: I really do think people look better over time.
Shannon: I know exactly what you mean, just like that picture when we were younger and i was sporting a camel toe and you looked like biggy smalls!
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| HA |
[15 Dec 2003|12:43pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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Today is my birthday and i get one every year and someday i do belive that i'll be buried six feet underground, i'll be dead and no longer around.
_♥
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| the best is yet to be |
[13 Dec 2003|02:20am] |
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study. study. study, many realizations all reveled in the private journal. My weekend is filled with studying and more studying... save me.
....♥
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[12 Dec 2003|08:30am] |
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WHAT THE FUCK, LIVEJOURNAL IS FREE!?!?!
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[11 Dec 2003|09:01am] |
I'M FFFFRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edit: Best Line Ever:
blackeyedsuicide: what r u doing bitchwhore?
yourxbloodxbath: nothing thinking about taking a shit and taking a shower.
HAHA she's gonna kill meh
okay okay.. i was looking back lj style and found THIS.. now this is for real the best like ever:
Me: i'm black therefore whatever i say automaticlly is ghetto, beat that cracker --call my ass tonite.
Shan: Your ass was born in a condo on the upper east side. You didn't even know you were black till last month. Shut the fuck up. tonight indeed.
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| if you still care at all, don't go tell me now |
[10 Dec 2003|06:40pm] |
I never thought this day would come. The day of realization where i stop thinking about all the good things and realize there were sooo many bad things. Where i stop blaming myself and i am truly over it. Over you.... this day will go down in history forshizzle.
I'm feeling better, My temp has gone down to 100.2 :-] i can move my head without a severe headache, my eyes stopped watering.. and that's about it. I still have some other crap though. Last nite i took four Tylenol cold and sinus plus the meds i'm already on [which don't work] so i was feeling really high good. My roommate was totally laughing at me, she said i talked about how flexible my arm was for a little to long, haha i'm stupid.
This is probably the worst week to get sick, i have finals next week and so much stuff to do this week, oh well.. what can ya do. Okay i completely forgot my train of thought while updating. Despite the fact that i'm sick and a lil bitch i'm pretty fucking happy... and some of you know why.. haha
Im Out
Peace
_♥
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[09 Dec 2003|01:28am] |
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i hate it when i'm sick and dying and nobody i thought would be there is there.
yep.. that's right -- you suck.
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| To breathe in the air will be the ONLY thing that you have |
[08 Dec 2003|01:56am] |
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I had an awesome weekend and now that i am back at home i'm NOT happy -- i was a lazy ass and didn't do any of the homeworky stuff i was sposta do this weekend. I'm screwed.
Last nite was the posion the well/ everytime i die show. We almost didn't get in because i guess they were sold out so you had to have tix in advance and Andrea and I didn't [but Rachel did] so we told them we came from dsm and put on sad faces and the rest is history. I saw ANGEL! and i was so excited [i luv you gurlie]. After the show we got some coffee, drove home and i went back to Andrea's were i lived this weekend honestly. The funnist thing is we were all so tired from the lack of sleep the night before that we were dead by like 11 o clock -- The wife went to bed and Kris and I watched t.v and talked until the wee hours of the morn.
Today on my way back to school Molly and i had to break for fucking pigs! no joke there were two pigs out in the middle of the road and we didn't know what to do -- one of the pigs kept coming up to the car it was crazy and they were HUGE, i thought pigs were the size of Babe but they were like 5 Babe's. I tried to get a picture but in the hype i missed and got the ground -- Molly got one so i'll post it later.
I'm Sleepy
....♥
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
( .Show & Shit. )
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| One day she won't love you too |
[05 Dec 2003|01:06am] |
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My day has been crazy.. in a good way. Being a freshman sucks! my schedule is gross.. but what can ya do. It looks like I’m coming home this weekend -- even though I really don't want to. I just have so much shit to do before finals. Andrea left me this sappy IM message about how I had to come home and blah blah blah.. Since I love her more then anyone else I decided I should.
I'm Sleepy
Night
.....♥
Ps. did i mention that it is beautiful outside -- the snow is lovely and so is Ren.
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| i've been thinking... it's time to move on. |
[03 Dec 2003|01:26pm] |
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mood |
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After many death attempts I’ve discovered I can't die -- i'm like fucking immortal. So since i'm being forced to live this life ive decided to make the best of it. I am now the most cheerful person you will ever meet -- i'm listening to ska again as well. So i got a new camera thanks to Shan and this cam is the shit, I’ve been taking lots of pictures of pretty skies.
I woke up in a semi baddish mood but after walking to class and seeing all the people i luv on this campus [minus the boys] and having to play sally fucking sunshine i got in a better mood. So i'm going to go about everything with a smile :-]
ofIMAG0111.JPG)
my emo pic days are over
_♥
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| ......you |
[02 Dec 2003|12:58am] |
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One and one and one is two
All this and more you said was true
And if you'd left me ground to stand on
I'd run so far away from you
What do you do with a remainder?
You round it up or round it down
And if you're scared by what you're left with
Destroy the answer that you've found
You were the one
When the day had begun
The sun was shining on us
Blinding me such
That I couldn't see
There was a hole beneath me
And then you watched me fall
With no expression at all
There is an absolute zero
But you won't find it on your own
Only someone else can show you nothing
And leave you with a gaping hole
You were the one
When the storm rolled in
The sky was grey like your heart
With no color at all
I don't know you like this
You're as reckless as wind
And I couldn't predict
Just the way this would end.
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| back home you'll sleep better |
[01 Dec 2003|01:34am] |
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i'm home.
It feels good to be here, i guess i missed this place a bit.
My thanksgiving weekend was good.
being back in the 515 for a bit was also good.
not seeing you, was bad -- i miss you.
i've decided that this is finally my home.
but next year it will not be.
i'll keep you posted
night
_♥
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xtears4telax's journal